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The Ukulele King Technique of Doggerel Hypnotics

ongratulations. You have found the secret bawd page detailing the Ukulele King Technique of Doggerel Hypnotics. This is a proven technique in basic hypnotism that uses the Ukulele King's unique technique of rhymed verse -- a technique that is ten time more powerful that standard hypnotic techniques. In fact, this technique is so powerful that the Ukulele King dares not let it fall into the hands of the very stupid, and so has hidden it away on his Website, waiting for the right person to discover it. That person is you.


If you follow the instructions on this page, including using the Ukulele King's patented Hypno-Thaumatrope, you are guaranteed to induce a hypnotic state in others. Even those who are ordinarily resistant to hypnosis will find their wills bent to Doggerel Hypnotics. It is simply that powerful.

The Ukulele King developed this system after years of study, harnessing the natural power of rhymed and metered verse in developing an absolutely unique system of hypnotic inducement. In clinical trial after clinical trial, the powers of the rhymed coupled proved to be as much as ten times more powerful in inducing a hypnotic trance than those of comparable methods. This method is safe and it works.

An Explanation for the Extraordinary Effectiveness of Doggerel Hypnotics

Doggerel Hypnotics makes use of the mind's own system of language. Throughout antiquity, rhymed and metered verse was used as a mnemonic tool, used in pre-literate cultures as a method of memorizing vast quantities of information. Epic poems such as Beowulf, Homer's Odyssey, and the Mahabarata all have their roots in oral culture, and make extensive use of the poetic techniques of orally transmitted narratives, even after they are written down.

In fact, the history of mnemonics begins with poetry -- with the Roman poet Simonides, who was asked to compose an epic poem and recite it at a banquet. Simonides' poem proved popular even with the gods -- a messenger from Castor and Pollux, who had been the subject of Simonides' praise in the poem, called the poet out of the banquet hall. When Simonides left, the hall collapsed, killing everyone inside and crushing their bodies, rendering it impossible to identify the corpses. Simonides, however, was able to identify each of the bodies based on their placement in the hall. He let the experience convinced that it is possible to arrange information in such a way that the mind naturally remembers it.

There are many systems of mnemonics, and most of them use of one poetic technique or another: rhyming, meter, vivid imagery, keyword repetition, etc. In fact, such techniques are among the earliest pedagogical tools used in instructing children -- information is presented in the form of simple rhymes, often put to simple melodies (such as the famous "ABC" song). Consistently, students who use poetic mnemonic technique remember and retain as much as 50 percent more information than those who use no mnemonics.

The Ukulele King system of Doggerel Hypnotics uses these very mnemonic techniques, in the form of simple, sing-songy verses, to induce a hypnotic state. The subject's mind responds instantly to such mnemonic devices, and the subject enters a trance state faster, experiences a deeper state of relaxation, and experiences longer-term benefits from their hypnotic session that by using standard hypnotic techniques. Although the Ukulele King is not a licensed hypnotherapist, and his system of Doggerel Hypnotics is not formally endorsed by any medical establishment or professional hypnotherapy organization, nonethelesss the system of Doggerel Hypnotics works, and can be tested in your very home. Simply follow the instructions below.

First, print up the patented Hypno-Thaumatrope. Use the instructions on the Ukulele King's Thaumatrope page to construct the Htpno-Thaumatrope. This simple device will act as an important locus for your subject's attention during the hypnotic session. To see a printable version of the Hypno-Thaumatrope, simply click below.

Read the instructions below very carefully before begin the hypnotic session, and make certain that you have a full understanding of the process. While hypnosis in a perfectly safe undertaking, please not that the Ukulele King takes no responsibility for anything that happens during the hypnotic session. The responsibility for the successes -- and failures, if done improperly -- of such a session are entirely the responsibility of those involved.

Click the Hypno-Thaumatrope.

Things to Know First

Never ask your subjct to do anything in hypnosis that might be harmful. Do not ask your subject to do anything in a trance that you wouldn't ask otherwise. A subject can always refuse to do anything asked by their hypnotist, and should be informed of this fact. People cannot do things while in a hypnotic trance that they cannot do when awake -- they do not develop superhuman powers or suddenly develop the ability to speak in foreign languages.

You subject may tell you that they didn't "feel" hypnotized. Hypnosis, which is a naturally occurring state of deep relaxation, feels exactly like that. Your subject might expect strange, indescribable feelings while in a trace. They will not.

These techniques are proven effective in inducing hypnosis in any subject, but will not work if the subject is afraid. It is your responsibility, as the hypnotist, to explain to your subject what hypnosis is, and that it is a safe experience.

How to Know When Your Subject is in a Hypnotic Trance

They may flutter their eyelids.

Upon opening their eyes, they may be red or wet.

Your subject should demonstrate a relaxation of their body, with their muscles going limp.

The face should "flatten" as the subject relaxes and stress drains out of their facial muscles.

The subject may show waxy skin tones.

Your subject may experience feelings of warmth or coolness or tingling sensations. They may feel very heavy or very light.

Your subject may stop swallowing, or do so with effort.

The subject's breathing should become deeper and fuller.

The subjects extremities, as well as their arms or legs, might twitch slightly. That is simply their muscles tightening briefly and then relaxing.

Things to Explain to Your Subject

We are hypnotized many times every day, simply by the act of relaxing and falling asleep. "Hypnosis" is just a fancy word for deep relaxation.

The hypnotic trance feels like deep relaxation, which it is. The subject should not expect anything else.

It is impossible to get struck in a hypnotic trance. In an emergency, the subject would wake up, just as they would from sleep.

The subject will never do anything in a hypnotic trance that they would not do when they are awake. Their moral values will retain intact even while they are deeply relaxed.

The subject will, in all likelihood, be aware of everything going on around them while in the trance.

The subject might remember everything that happened while in the trance -- many people do.

The Ukulele King Technique of Doggerel Hypnotics

Once the subject is aware of the nature of a hypnotic trance, you will be ready to induce hypnosis by the Ukulele King's technique. This technique is very simple. Just follow the step-by-step instructions as follows:

1. Ask the subject to sit down opposite you. Do not have them lie down, or they may fall asleep. You may lower the lights if you wish -- although, if the subject is nervous, you may choose not to.

2. Talk to the subject in a calm, soothing voice. Do not speak in a monotone. When reciting the doggerels in order to induce the hypnotic state, it is okay to be a little sing-songy.

3. Ask your subject to focus their eyes on the Hypno-Thaumatrope and to listen very closely to your voice. Spin the Hypno-Thaumatrope in your hands as they watch, and ask them to take several very deep breaths. Demonstrate for them, and have them breate with you. Each breath should be deeper than the previous one, until they are breathing deeply and easily.

4. Tell your subject that you are going to name the various parts of their body, and as you do so, they should relax them. Tell them that you will be doing so using little rhymes, so that they are not surprised when they hear them. Name each part of their body, ask them to relax and to exhale deeply. Every so often, recite the following:

Every time you breathe air in
Tighten up your bones and skin
And every time you exhale again
Feel yourself relaxing them.

5. Watch your subject during this. You will see them relaxing, and when they do, respond positively. Softly tell them such things as, "That's right, just relax. That's exactly right, just breathe out and relax."

6. When their eyelids begin to flutter, tell them this:

When I put my hand upon your brow
Close your eyes -- and close them now.

When you say now, place your hands gently on their forehead, so that your palm covers their eyes. Do this quickly, but without bumping them or seeming to move with alarm.

7. Repeat this as often as necessary. Some people relax immediately, and some people take ten minutes or more to let their bodies totally relax. When they seem the most relaxed, recite this to them:

I will now count down from ten
And relax with every number, then
when I count back up to ten
You will come awake again.

Recite it several times before you begin. Count down from ten, slowly, and invite them to relax further with each number counted down, saying things like, "That's it, feel yourself getting more and more relaxed now."

8. By the time you reach the count of one, your subject should be very relaxed. You may even see them visible slump slightly as you reach your last number and they give up any residual muscle stress. Now you may begin your hypnotic session. The hypnotic session should have a very clear goal -- let's say that your subject wishes to give up smoking. You should prepare for this session by composing a series of simple rhymes, written in straightforward, positive language, stressing the goal. Have the subjects repeat the rhymes back to you after you say them. Each rhyme should be said at least ten times. Sample rhymes for someone who wishes to give up smoking might be as follows:

When I want a cigarette
Suddenly I don't want it yet.
I can do without it now
The less I smoke, the healthier I get.

I feel better when I don't smoke
It hurts my throat and makes me choke
And so I put cigarettes away
And breathe a little better every day.

Come up with about five of these. Remember that they key to effective hypnotics is repetition -- most people need multiple hypnotic sessions before there is a change in their behavior. It also helps to recite these simply rhymes into a tape recorder and have your subject play them before they sleep. Another helpful trick is to write the rhymes down on flashcards or in a notebook, so that your subject can look at them, and recite them aloud, throughout the day. Hypnosis is most effective when the conscious mind and the unconscious mind are getting the same messages.

9. When you are ready to bring your subject out of the hypnotic state, ask them to listen to you. Then recite the following:

I will count from one to ten
And when I do wake up again.
When I reach the number ten
Open open your eyes then
Remember everything and then
Feel rested when you wake again
when I reach the number ten
Open open your eyes then.

Then count slowly from one to ten. Your subject will begin to stir. Between each number, tell them that they will remember everything that has happened to them, and when they wake they will feel rested and will find themselves in a very good mood. When you reach the number ten, their eyes will open, and the session will be over.

© Max Sparber. Click for republication information.

Posted by UkuleleKing at 4:40 p.m.

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