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bawd extra: The Worst Puppet in the World

ow you too can possess this sacred icon of beastly poetry, the Ukulele King paper puppet! Simply click on the image below for a full 8 ½"x11" image, ready to be printed up from your very own printer!

Paste the printed sheet to some card stock or posterboard paper, cut -- carefully! -- and attach the joints as instructed. Now you have your very own Ukulele King, and what you do with him is entirely up to your own imagination. However, here are a few suggestions:

  • Have readings of Ukie's doggerel for your dollies and teddy bears, and watch them cower in horror!
  • Take the puppet with you to Paris. The Ukulele King has always wanted to go to Paris!
  • Make thousands of copies and place them in inauspicious locations throughout your fair city. Watch the fun as bypassers unexpectedly find themselves face to face with the Worst Poet in the World!
  • Make a puppet that looks like you. Have a puppet wedding and a puppet honeymoon. Email me the photographs.
  • Take the Ukie puppet with you to political rallies. Puppets are always welcome at political rallies! And the Ukulele King is a lefty firebrand!
  • Make an animated movie starring the Ukulele King. Take it on the independent film festival circuit. Go to Cannes with it. The Ukulele King has always wanted to go to Cannes.
  • Eat paste. Sure, that has nothing to do with the Ukie puppet, but, after all, this is craft day, and what is craft day without a little paste when you get peckish?
  • Bring the Ukie puppet to bars. He's always ready with a toast, although, in all honesty, it will always be that damned "good friends in hard times and hard friends in good times" toast that he is unreasonably proud of for making up.
  • Get the Ukie puppet a job. Don't be surprised if the real Ukulele King shows up, though. The real Ukulele King needs work.
  • Sell it. Cha-ching! All proceeds must go to the Ukulele King, however.

Click on the thumbnail image below to open a full-sized Ukulele King puppet template, ready to be printed!


© Max Sparber. Click for republication information.

Posted by UkuleleKing at 10:02 p.m.

Design: Poo